Nails on a Chalkboard

Quick post, it's late and two nights a a sleepless toddler are wearing on me. I gave a little class yesterday and in the program I was referred to as "Becky" Stewart. Ok, so not to be witchy here, but who takes it upon themselves to assume one's nickname? Don't get me wrong, I am sure the dear sister who typed it up(or PC'ed or MAC'ed I know, no one types things up anymore) just figured that was what I went by. Well, I DON'T! And I don't ever want to. No offense to the name "Becky", but I imagine a dirty faced five year old with red pigtails when I hear that name. It truly is not me, not that I wasn't a dirty faced five year old at one point, but now... it's just not me. Sorry for the rambling, just had to vent for a second. I am off to sweet dreamland... hopefully I will be resting my peepers for more than 2 hours tonight!

Me!Me!Me!

I sit here reviewing my blog and realizing that about 99.9% of my posts are about or involving my kids. Not that this is a bad thing, but dang it, it's MY blog and should have a bit more chapter and verse about MY thoughts, MY ideas, MY life, and MY feelings. I think I got into this offspring whirlwind because, when I think of what defines me, I think of my family. Now, mind you, my little tadpoles are adorable(in my opinion), funny, and fantastic... BUT there is more to me than being just "Mom." So, one of my resolutions this year is to allow my blog to be more journal-esque(I know it's not a real word, but I like it!) And since we are on this "bettering" road... here are the ones I am working on for good 'ole 2009.

Take time to breathe, stop worrying about so much and take a chill pill. I would have to say that about 360 days a year I am on "GO" mode. I wake up and from the first morning breath to the lying down of my head I try to get as much done in my "ever so effective" style of multi-taking as I can. I always want my home to be spotless, My kids to be played with, taken to enriching/educational/fun/fantastic activities, my meals to be fabulous/heathy/impressive(and goodness forbid that I do not introduce a new recipe to my family at least once a week!) I am picking up toys, filing papers, sewing halloween costumes, visiting sick friends, planning parties, attempting to beautify my little house(gosh I wish I knew how to make my space=what I want it to look like), work out(why, oh why was I not born with Heidi Klum's body? or something even somewhat resembling it?) etc., etc. , etc!!! Whew! I feel tired just talking about it. I am trying to(this is REALLY hard for me) realize that I will never be Emeril, Martha Stewart, Nate Berkus, or any other representation of "the best" at something. I have to get it in to my stubborn noggin that I can be  just good at something an that's ok. 

Stop worrying about what other people think. I do love shoes and clothes, even though I now spend a thrice of what I used to on these items.  I do stare at the mirror contemplating my far from perfect figure, wishing the FAA would approve at-home liposuction. I have to remember that most people at church/the grocery store/children's museum don't even notice me, much less what I am wearing or my chunky thighs. I so want to look fashionable, put together, classy elegant, and lest I forget skinny. I sometimes feel like people look at me as an old, frumpy mess. So, as I ramble here... this is one of my big goals. Stop worrying what people think. I mean, I'm not going overboard. I won't be at Target in pj's. I won't be pounding down ben and Jerry's by the pint.

Really, REALLY be more in tune with my Father in Heaven. I have this(reference above) innate desire to be so very, very good. To want to always do the right thing . Unfortunately, I do not always put forth all the effort to achieve this. I slack in my scripture study, forget family morning prayers, and even (I know, it's reprehensible!) swear if I stub my toe. There are many, many more faults/shortcomings/weaknesses, but there is only so much space in a post. I really, REALLY want to go the 110%. Do what I need to do to be the me I want to be. I will keep you updated on my progress... as long as it's forward and not backward!:)

Focus more on my husband and marriage. I think I have, as many of us do(at least I hope I am not alone in this boat) let my kidlets come before my dear spouse. I mean really, what am I without my guy? He is so great to me. What kind of man stay up until 3 am putting my new elliptical machine together? I GREAT one! What kind of man brag to his friends about his wonderful(thank goodness he thinks so) wife? A GREAT one! What kind of man say,"You look the same as you did before both kids!" A GREAT(albeit blind) one! So, no more complaining about his lack of grocery shopping, cleaning or cooking(none of which he has done even once in our marriage!) I will begin the boasting, appreciating, and spoiling now. 

Toria-isms

After a tiring day at the "Kwanza celebration" at the U's Museum of Fine Arts we arrived at the Training Table for a late, late lunch. Toria was like a Mexican jumping bean and could not for the life of her sit still. She was up, she was down, she was dancing, she was jumping. Now, I'm usually a bit of a stickler on table manners, but after an exhausting afternoon and in a basically empty restaurant, I was giving her some leeway. Well, even I, the pillar of patience(not so much) reached my limit. In the nicest tone, yet with a hint of sternness told her to, "Sit down on your knees or bum, right now." She sits down, sticks her finger in her ketchup and in just as firm a voice states" Mommy, stop being mad at me." Doug and I laughed so hard.  Maybe you had to be there, because as I read this it doesn't seem as funny. But, I promise, it really was. 

A Star is Born

Toria had her first little dance show  and I have to admit that I was a little worried about how nervous she would be with so many people watching her. Apparently it's confirmed. I DO NOT have a shy kid. Despite being far past the hour of her slumber, she was flitting, bowing and clapping like a little sprite. As many of the other little tots were crying for their mommies, she just kept on dancing, kicking, and passe'ing(not quite sure the correct plural for that one) away. She loved every minute of the cheers and adulation. My only concern now is, will I ever be able to get her off the stage?

Forced gratitude

So, one of Toria's new things is to make sure that as we sit down to a meal everyone thanks me for preparing the food. Generally goes like this...

Toria: Mommy, thank you for the food. Daddy, can you say thank you to Mommy for the food?

Doug: Thank you for the food, Mommy

Toria: Skylar, can you thank Becca for the food?

Skylar: Thank you for the food 

Toria: Rome, can you thank Mommy for the food?

Rome:(silence... give the kid a break he's only 8 1/2 months old)

And so on, until all those seated at the table have thanked me for the food.

So, this is cute and funny, but it truly is the start of every meal at our table. Hence, I tend to hear this pretty much 3 times a day.

Well, today she added a spin...

Toria: Thank you for the food, Mommy. Daddy, can you thank your wife for the food?

Ok... are you really 2 1/2?

The most wonderful day of the year!

Our Christmas morning...

Stocking stuffers doing their job

Bubbs in his new headwear from Aunt Leann

Bubbs not getting the present thing, but being very overwhelmed and tired

         Toria Loving her new scarf, hat, and puppy w/ matching hat

Shoveling snow...

Shoveling MORE snow

Rome still not caring about the presents, but loving it all

daily ritual

is it just me or does everyone feel like they are unloading a dishwasher, loading a dishwasher, or washing dishes 24-7? i'm not complaining, just stating a fact.  i guess if i did more takeout, then i would do less of this... but alas, i love to cook(most of the time) for my little fam... thus my ritual continues...