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Monday, January 26, 2009

Me!Me!Me!

I sit here reviewing my blog and realizing that about 99.9% of my posts are about or involving my kids. Not that this is a bad thing, but dang it, it's MY blog and should have a bit more chapter and verse about MY thoughts, MY ideas, MY life, and MY feelings. I think I got into this offspring whirlwind because, when I think of what defines me, I think of my family. Now, mind you, my little tadpoles are adorable(in my opinion), funny, and fantastic... BUT there is more to me than being just "Mom." So, one of my resolutions this year is to allow my blog to be more journal-esque(I know it's not a real word, but I like it!) And since we are on this "bettering" road... here are the ones I am working on for good 'ole 2009.

Take time to breathe, stop worrying about so much and take a chill pill. I would have to say that about 360 days a year I am on "GO" mode. I wake up and from the first morning breath to the lying down of my head I try to get as much done in my "ever so effective" style of multi-taking as I can. I always want my home to be spotless, My kids to be played with, taken to enriching/educational/fun/fantastic activities, my meals to be fabulous/heathy/impressive(and goodness forbid that I do not introduce a new recipe to my family at least once a week!) I am picking up toys, filing papers, sewing halloween costumes, visiting sick friends, planning parties, attempting to beautify my little house(gosh I wish I knew how to make my space=what I want it to look like), work out(why, oh why was I not born with Heidi Klum's body? or something even somewhat resembling it?) etc., etc. , etc!!! Whew! I feel tired just talking about it. I am trying to(this is REALLY hard for me) realize that I will never be Emeril, Martha Stewart, Nate Berkus, or any other representation of "the best" at something. I have to get it in to my stubborn noggin that I can be  just good at something an that's ok. 

Stop worrying about what other people think. I do love shoes and clothes, even though I now spend a thrice of what I used to on these items.  I do stare at the mirror contemplating my far from perfect figure, wishing the FAA would approve at-home liposuction. I have to remember that most people at church/the grocery store/children's museum don't even notice me, much less what I am wearing or my chunky thighs. I so want to look fashionable, put together, classy elegant, and lest I forget skinny. I sometimes feel like people look at me as an old, frumpy mess. So, as I ramble here... this is one of my big goals. Stop worrying what people think. I mean, I'm not going overboard. I won't be at Target in pj's. I won't be pounding down ben and Jerry's by the pint.

Really, REALLY be more in tune with my Father in Heaven. I have this(reference above) innate desire to be so very, very good. To want to always do the right thing . Unfortunately, I do not always put forth all the effort to achieve this. I slack in my scripture study, forget family morning prayers, and even (I know, it's reprehensible!) swear if I stub my toe. There are many, many more faults/shortcomings/weaknesses, but there is only so much space in a post. I really, REALLY want to go the 110%. Do what I need to do to be the me I want to be. I will keep you updated on my progress... as long as it's forward and not backward!:)

Focus more on my husband and marriage. I think I have, as many of us do(at least I hope I am not alone in this boat) let my kidlets come before my dear spouse. I mean really, what am I without my guy? He is so great to me. What kind of man stay up until 3 am putting my new elliptical machine together? I GREAT one! What kind of man brag to his friends about his wonderful(thank goodness he thinks so) wife? A GREAT one! What kind of man say,"You look the same as you did before both kids!" A GREAT(albeit blind) one! So, no more complaining about his lack of grocery shopping, cleaning or cooking(none of which he has done even once in our marriage!) I will begin the boasting, appreciating, and spoiling now. 



4 comments:

Keisel Family said...

I think most women feel the same way as you. Although I don't have to have my house spotless ALL the time. In fact, it is messy right now while I take some me time to comment on your blog!

Annie said...

Becca - you don't do yourself justice! Good for you though - taking a little time for just you.

Amy said...

No one looks at you as an old frumpy mess, you're ridiclious. You probably do more in a day than I do in entire weeks. I was doing the same thing with "my" blog, my child was over-taking it so I made another one, and now I have two. Its very liberating. Anyway, you're wonderful and don't forget it.

HeatherWasHere said...

Frumpy? I'm with Amy, you're ridiculous. But just in this one thing! Everything else is cool. And I DO notice you at church and I DO notice how cute you look. Always. I think of you as one of the glamorous moms, the ones that the kids will always be proud to point out to their friends..."That's my mom, the pretty one."